Today has been rough. Everywhere I look there a little girls. I keep thinking all these parents have their little girls except me. Of course I know this isn't true, but its how I feel at times. I miss her so much. Oh, how I want her back. Funny, Jerry can just tell in my voice when I'm having a bad day. I heard today that someone who had a baby one month before me, is pregnant again. My first reaction was, that's not fair! Then I realized, I sounded like a child. Then I thought poor thing, that's going to be tough having two so close in age.
It's funny how people give me advise yet, they have no idea how my shoes feel.They think their helping, but their not. I am definitely at a time in my life, where I realize only God can get me through this. Money, family and/or friends can't fix my situation. Because these situations in life do exist, they are the moments in time, where there is a fork in the road and we have a choice to make; the road of self pity, unhappiness and gloom or we can choose the path which makes more sense, Gods path. Because only Gods grace can ease my soul, comfort me, and provide the inner peace I need until I see my Elena again. Some of us take a long time to realize there was even a fork in the road, we don't pay attention to traffic signs while we are steering our lives, instead we act like the teenager who just got their license and is careless and invincible without a care in the world. Only to find out we made the wrong turn, unfortunately sometimes too far down, and it takes that much more to turn around and fix the mistake made miles ago.
I see now how easily someone can be so careless. Because it's hard for me everyday to continue to have faith and understand God will give me the strength I need to make it through the day. Because God knows and can provide what I need before I know what I need.
Psalm 139:10
Even there your hand shall lead me, And your right hand shall hold me.
But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength
They will soar on wings like eagles
they will run and not grow weary
they will walk and not be faint
Isaiah 40:31 NIV
Posted by: Mom | Saturday, May 31, 2008 at 12:24 PM